Navigating Transition

Nancie Carmichael

Life is filled with significant transitions and how we navigate them helps us live our best lives.

I had two major transitions in my life: one was after my husband Bill, and I sold our magazine company after nearly 20 years. I was completely wrapped up in it—interacting with readers and our staff who were more like family to me than colleagues. When it was over, I missed them terribly.

At the same time, our five children were leaving home, one by one. We were engrossed with their lives, their friends, their sports, their dreams. We’re still involved now with five amazing in-law kids and 14 grands, but life changed. While Jesus and his gifts and callings never change; the things we wrap ourselves around certainly do. How do we let go when we must?

These principles helped me:

1. RE-NEGOTIATE RELATIONSHIPS
   As a parent, we move (gradually) to a mentor/friend role, letting go of control. Or in a business or ministry, we step aside to ask, “How can I help?” or gracefully bow out. Life gives us hints on how to let go, if we are aware. I also see our kids re-negotiating their relationships with us—making sure when we drive over the mountain pass that we call them! Relationships are ever-changing because we are changing.

2. REFUSE TO BE OFFENDED
   Mary, the mother of Jesus came to check on him[1]. Instead of inviting her up front and giving her flowers, he left her standing outside and asked the crowd: “Who is my mother?” The comment could have stung. “After all I’ve done, I’m a sermon illustration?” But she was not offended and kept showing up: At the cross; in the upper room; in helping to establish churches. She was there to serve, not control. We can learn from her example.

3. DON’T GET STUCK ON DETAILS
   I love details. They make things happen. But they can drive wedges. (“I know how to do it best! We’ve always done it this way, and it’s always worked!”) Let’s be honest. We’re all pretty much control freaks. Jesus showed us a better way: “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus, who…made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant...”[1] Jesus washed dirty feet. Humility is a beautiful mindset to lead us through transition.

4. ACKNOWLEDGE THE LOSS 
   How do you grieve big things that at one time defined you? First, be honest about it, what it stood for. Write a note of appreciation to someone. Gratitude moves us forward.

5. BE OPEN TO THE NEW & UNEXPECTED
   Life isn’t over; it’s just different. If we are stuck on the past, we can’t live fully in the present. We can pray, “Lord, I’m available in this new place, whether it is small or great. Write your message of love in my life, that I may freely share it.”
   

   [1] Philippians 2:5-7

   [1] Matthew 12:46-60